Valley Chai

i’ve traveled in and out of india 10’s of times and i still haven’t quite gotten used to the routine at the customs in indian airports. my first outing was in 1994, when the indian economy was closed tight and it made sense to monitor what’s being imported and such.

13 years later, we are buying foreign cars like crazy, going to vacations abroad at an unprecedented rate, and we have international brands at every corner, down to the Re.1 sachet of shampoo. still, the clowns at the airports monitor what’s being brought in and out of the country as if it’s the last line of defense.

and it isn’t even worth it. imagine we get 50 international flights on average on the 10 major airports. at 150 passengers a flight, it must be around 750,000 people coming in through the airports every day. even if the clowns get them to pay $20 based on these tariffs, it’s a very liberal annual estimated income of $1.5M. tell me if i am wrong but this is chicken-nuts compared to the cost of inconvenience to thousands of travelers, delays, etc.

the system of collecting the money is quite organized, in a weirdly smooth way. after arrival, a few fellows are scanning each and every checked and carry-on bag before it’s put on the carousel. each bag is marked with a big “X” if it contains potentially valuable (read: electronics, liquor, cigarettes) item that carries a high import tariff. one fellow takes the customs declaration form., and if the “X” is found, redirects to a second scan (2-3 folks). if he thinks there is something to be made money out of, he directs you to yet another desk where 2-3 folks open the bags and appraise the cost to each of the aforementioned valuable item. then there is an informal negotiation.

you have two choices - a very high valuation and correspondingly high tax payable to the government of india. or, you have a very low valuation and a discreet currency exchange with a designated collector of such cash. the former is very slow and bureaucratic, the latter very fast. the money is shared among all the people in the chain, i presume.

i rarely bring much stuff into the country — after all everything is available right here, and you don’t even have to worry about voltage converters. but this whole process is extremely stressful and you always have the chance of being pestered into paying the bribe just to avoid the god-damn hassle from these clowns. i hate it.. more about getting suckered than paying the tax, and mostly about the sheer stupidity and irrelevance of employing these pests.